White Crane Journal #55: Gay Priests

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White Crane Journal #55

Winter 2002

 

Feature Section: Gay Priests

Editor's Note: In Hoc Signo Vinces

	Bodies Under Scandal, Bodies Under Law Ed Ingebretsen Gay Priests Under Fire Dennis Trunk A School for Desire Donald L. Boisvert False Spirituality Chris Roby Mystical Body Stephen McDonnell Tell Me What Home is Like, a book by John Vore, investigates priestly sexual abuse at Notre Dame.
Neither Do I: A Meditation on Scapegoating William D. Glenn Priestly Pedophilia Toby Johnson (excerpted from Johnson's new book GAY PERSPECTIVE: Things Our Homosexuality Tells Us about the Nature of God and the Universe, forthcoming from Alyson July 03) Leaving the Priesthood: Practical Advice Bob Barzan Link to Bob Barzan's site: Practical Advice for Leaving the Priesthood On Gay Priesthood Andrew Ramer   A Catholic Journey Ben Linton   Mesmerizing Tongues of Flame John Andrew Grimes A Personal Tale of Eros Roger LaRade The Chosen Ones Greg Kasperek         Bookstores currently stocking WCJ Please support these stores with your patronage Outwrite Books, Atlanta GA Beyond the Closet, Seattle WA The Open Book, Sacramento CA The Obelisk Bookstore, San Diego CA Category 6, Denver CO The Tattered Cover, Denver CO Booklink, Park Slope Brooklyn NY Lambda Rising, Washington DC	A Meditation by Paul Wirhun   When I was 19 and In college-seminary My priest/mentor/confessor/sugar-daddy friend taught me how To train my mind to Shut off the pleasure As I ejaculated In front of a mirror Him standing behind me Doing the pulling with the cold KY On the cold tile in his underwear Big and fat and hairy And concerned   That I should know how to Avoid the near occasion of sin For I confessed that I pulled and pulled And got hard and couldn't stop And I was afraid for I wanted to be so good so bad For I had had ecstasy at 8 Standing on church steps Singing Easter anthems in cassock And dolmatic serving with pure heart In the best way I knew how   And there I was - a mess of hormones Racing through my nubile mass of flesh Desiring the highest ecstasy Union with the divine - possible only When in the State of Sanctifying Grace Impossible for the chronically chthonic My sexuality was out of control In a worldview where anything but Abstinence was out of control and mortally sinful   I was so fearful I would never Overcome the ever-impending doom Every ejaculation brought - whether Alone or with others and being So shame-filled for the ignorance of Sex my family bestowed on me That I could turn to no one except the anonymity of the dark confessional box for brief respite till the next time And there always was a next time   But now I was an adult Committing my life to priestly duty with serious intent & steadfast resolve having just graduated from seminary prep My escape from the horrors of Teenage years cast out from the normal world as a sissy boy - outed & scared Hiding and running from fear into Mother Church = a flock of magpies Gawking at and Hawking all that gold   glittering on icons, chalices, crosses & crowns atop heads of men dictating the road known as straight and narrow as the only way to Paradise and so I followed for I wanted to be good my intention was pure How many times did we exercise My demons in that mirror I could not tell for the memory is somewhat blurred by years of sin and ecstasy of going back to touch that wound that cut right through my desire and my belief severing forever my connection with systems that divide and conquer and hide and lie and scare and die Now my service thrives in ways Unimagineable when I was 19 and Memory serves as a guide from whence I sit and write and wonder how Different we feel when touching - Just touching cock and heart and anus and soul together and again Listening with compassion to fear and Hear myself mirrored in him or him Connecting through me to himself - Circulating back to me a union A moment divine   Paul Wirhun is an artist and lives in Brooklyn. His last contribution to WCJ was on pysanki egg art in the Food & Spirit issue.
Bodhisattva Watch For Harry: A Poem Michael Oglesby

Subscribe to White Crane Journal by mail to get all
the articles and all the art in a handsome hard copy

Books We Recommend

The Life of Pi by Yann Martel

Reviewed by Bo Young

Leading the Parade by Paul D. Cain

Reviewed by Jesse Monteagudo

Secret Places: My Life in New York and New Guinea

by Tobias Schneebaum

Reviewed by Mountaine

 

Poetry

A Great Man Has Died Bo Young

A Meditation Paul Wirhun

Communion with Father Eros Jereamy Gray

 

For Your Information

Call for Submissions

Roads are rich with possibilities... road trips... the road of life. Immanent, insightful ideas can be embodied in physical places. In the sagas of spirituality, seekers are often called to leave their homes, their comfort zones, go on the hard road and make what is called a "pilgrimage" to seek out... what? What is a pilgrimage? What is pilgrim? Are you one? Have you made one? Where? Why? What did it mean to you? What are the places that we, as gay men, consider to be worthy of being visited and seen in a way that we would consider that voyage, that trip, to be "pilgrimage?" Have you visited the Stonewall Inn in New York City? Castro Street in San Francisco? Have you climbed the heights of Machu Picchu or made the long flight to India or Rome? There are places on the planet that are called Power Points... where are they in the world? In your mind? In your heart? This is a call to readers of White Crane to share with us your road trips... your pilgrimages. Tell us all where to go... and how to get there.

 

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