Joe Kort is a very good and dedicated therapist in Michigan. His last book, a similar decalogue of "smart things" gay men…or anyone, really…can do to make their lives better. This, of course, is the root definition we subscribe to at White Crane for what spirituality is: anything that fosters a more profound and nourishing relationship with yourself, those around you, and the world.

David Letterman popularized the Top Ten List and, while this reviewer resists the idea these matters can be reduced to "ten easy steps," Joe, as he did in his first book, manages to wrap up a good deal of smart thinking in this, his second list. Clever chapter titles tell the story: Discover How What You Hate Can Help You Love…Go From Gay Boy to A Gay Man with Your Father…Recognize the Difference Between Mommy Nearest, Mommy Dearest and Mommy Queerest and Learn How to Disarm-Not Strong-arm-Your Partner in Communication. Behind each of these clever headings is solid therapeutic thought, a couple of exercises and probably some pretty good help if you put your mind to it. Or if both of you do, even better. Kort is even realistic enough to include a chapter on "How to Call it Quits (without being a quitter)."

This book has something for every gay man, really, in a relationship or not. I've always held to the idea that you don't have to be sick to get better, and Kort offers strong interpersonal skills in these pages, something, at which, all of us can only hope to get better.

Of course, it all sort of begs the question: If there were only 10 smart things you needed to do to improve your life in the first place, why there are all of a sudden ten more smart things to do to find "real" love? OK…maybe it takes twenty things to make your life better and make sure that this "better" includes real love.

 Bo Young is White Crane's Publisher.

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